According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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