Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
