What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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