wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
