a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
