why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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