I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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