i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
