Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
