it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
