I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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