:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
