So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
