Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
COCAINE IS GR8
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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