you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
