i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
