haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
