i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
