Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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