Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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