I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
