just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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