i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
operation harelip BJ is a go
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
