talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
