Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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