At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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