it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she looked like the before picture.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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