Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
