whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
