how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
