i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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