i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
