In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
