doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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