Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
