Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
