what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You made out with two different species that night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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