wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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