I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
