i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
