Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My vagina is officially offended.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
