wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
