I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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