I hate all girls vehemently.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
