What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
