your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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