Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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