i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
