i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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