what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
