their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
